When I awakened, I glanced around the hospital room....or, at least, I tried to.
Moving seemed to be out of the question, seeing as when I tried to lift my head, it felt like
it weighed more than my whole body ever had. So I let it fall back onto my pillow, and I
tried looking around without moving anything but my eyes.
The first thing I felt was pain. It shot up from the tips of my toes all the way to
the top of my head. As I reached up and realized my braid and ponytail were gone, the feeling got worse. It felt like my body had been hallowed out and filled with lead.....and,
as I would later find out, that wasn’t very far from the truth.
The second thing I felt was exhaustion. I wanted to go back to sleep, but now I
was curious about what had happened to me, and how my nephew and pet bantha were
doing. As if reading my mind, Ani walked into the room.
“Hi, Uncle John-Wan,” the boy said cheerfully. “Wizards, you don’t look so
“I don’t feel so good, either, Ani,” I replied. As I spoke, I realized that my mouth
was shaking for a reason I couldn’t explain. “And the word is ‘wowser’,” I corrected him
“Nuh-uh!” he cried defiantly. “Wowser is SO last week. Now me and my friends
ONLY say wizards.” Seeing the serious expression on his face as he informed me of all
this, it was all I could do not to burst out laughing.
“Whatever you say, Ani,” I replied, slightly amused. I mean, that saying had only
lasted a week! Not that I was trying to keep up with such things, but geez! “Why did you
pick another saying so quickly?” I asked.
“Well, it HAS been two months,” he answered matter-of-factly.
“TWO MONTHS?!” I cried. “What happened?”
“I don’t know for sure,” Ani answered, shrugging. “The doctor will tell you.
Well, before I go, I brought you a surprise.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, amused. “What?”
“Brain came to visit.”
“You don’t mean....” All of a sudden, I could hear the loud noise of a bantha
stomping towards my room. My pet, Brain, peered around the corner at me, his hairy face
looking almost concerned. He was smart as banthas go, but I don’t think he entirely
understood that he wasn’t supposed to be here.
“Surprised?” Ani asked.
“Go home, Brain!” I called to the beast. Confused but eager to please, he
lumbered back the way he came and headed out the door.
“What’d you do THAT for?” Ani asked, a little hurt.
“Sorry, but animals, especially banthas, aren’t allowed in the hospital. Bye, Ani.”
“Bye, Uncle John-Wan!” he said, and trotted out of the room. Now, I thought, it
would be really nice if I could figure out what the heck happened to me. I got up from
my bed, then fell to the floor, realizing my mistake.
I slowly peeled myself off of the hospital floor, then looked down. My hands
felt...funny. Oh, my God! I thought. Sticking out of my fingers were hydrospanners,
vibroblades, and all sorts of nifty “gadgets” and tools. Sure, that might be useful if I was
off to fix up my T-16, but....they were coming out of my FINGERS! What the heck kind
of painkiller did they give me? I thought. I began to freak out around the time Queen/Dr.
Brenda stepped in the room.
“Dr....Your Highness....I....what..?” As I stuttered and embarrassed myself in my
confusion, I waved my fingers in the air to show her what I meant.
“Why are you like that?” she asked, guessing what I meant.
“Well, yeah, I can’t remember anything that happened,” I said, my mouth shaking
“Well, that explosion hit you pretty hard,” she answered, nodding.
“WHAT?” I cried. Explosion?
“In order to save your life, we replaced your tissue with bio-mechanical hardware
and software. Now you are the first robotic Jedi Knight, virtually indestructible and
“But...but I....I’m not ME anymore! I’m a Toche station!” I began to panic again.
“Please, calm down, John-Wan. Really, I’ll help you.” she reached out a hand to
“Stand back! I have no idea what I’m doing, so most likely you’ll get maimed if
you touch me.” I didn’t mean it to sound as gross as it did. I was not happy with the
current state of things, but it seemed there was no way around it. Might as well make the
best of things, I thought. “Well, all right, but you’ve got to help me out.”
“Sure,” she said, smiling. I didn’t dare think that she might like me, too....then, as
I was thinking these things, my head smashed up into the ceiling on a long extension of my
neck. Oops! I thought. Embarrassed, I waited for my head to retract again. My face felt
hot, and I wondered how it was possible for a robot to blush.